JOKE, probably a joke you best not read out loud Options

[Magik5]

A Scotsman walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?
"Are you nuts?!!!" she replies, and keeps walking away.
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.
"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"
So the Scotsman runs around the next block and faces her again ; "Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?"
She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars; Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there ."
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them,
licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?"
"Nah", says the Scotsman... "Costs too much..."

[m33amkii]

good one

one day, an old woman goes to her bank, and asks to speak to her bank manager in private, with her lawyer, who will be turning up any minute now. the cashier looks surprised, but arranges for a private meeting. once in the offfice, the lady says: "Mr. Manager, last week the cashier made a mistake, and i guess you don;t have the balls to own up to it and apologize." the manager is indignant, and tries to convince the lady that he would apologise if there were the need to. the lady insists, and says: "I'll repeat, i think you don;t heve the balls to apologize - your balls may be cubes, not round!". the manager is now quite pissed off, and assures the lady his balls are quite round. "wanna bet?" he says? "sure," says the old lady, shall we say, "£10000? i have the money right here, in this bag!". the bank manager is very happy to go for the bet, so the woman says: "since it is such a big bet, i'd like to have my lawyer present, so i can check your balls in front of him". the lawyer comes up, the manager takes his tousers down, and the old lady feels his balls to make sure his balls are indeed round. the manager is pleased as he collects the £10000, but the lawyer groans and faints. when he comes to, the manager brings him a glass of water, and asks if the lawyer feels OK; and the lawyer says "i just lost 20 grand. that bitch made a bet with me this morning bthat by this afternoon sh;ed be massaging your balls in your own office!"